All My Challenges
by Spiffy Da WonderSheep
Summary: Clumping my challenge fics together to save space. Ch. 1 is Fish Face, Ch. 2 is Friday Night Is For Lovers, Ch. 3 is Another Saturday Night, NEW! Ch. 4 is It Could Be
1. Fish Face

Title: Fish Face  
  
Author: Spiffy Da WonderSheep  
  
Disclaimer: Challengers waive all rights to the airing of the show... oh, wait, you know what I mean.  
  
Author's note: Just for you, Jeffy. The challenge was: "Must have interaction between Buffy and Xander. Must include the misinterpretation of a Latin phrase. There must be some mention of Pike from the Buffy movie." I failed miserably, but hey, it amuses myself and many others.  
-----------------------------  
  
Willow passed her hand over the pot and intoned the final words of the De-Rat Amy Spell.   
  
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus!" The cage filled with purple smoke, that dissapated showing a still-ratted Amy.  
  
"Why are you talking about naked dragons?" Anya asked as she restocked the shelves.  
  
"That's not what I said!" Willow protested. "I was calling on the protector Draco."  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"Anya, the translation is right here, "The dragon never sleeps in the nude-- aw, hell."  
  
"Did someone say nude?" Xander said, holding the door open so Buffy could carry in a very large, obviously heavy box. "We've brought weapons to be sharpened."  
  
"I brought weapons to be sharpened," Buffy corrected, but anything she may have been about to say was cut off by Xander grabbing her face and kissing her full on the mouth. She jerked away and said indignantly, "Hey!"  
  
"Hey!" Anya said indignantly.  
  
"I'm sorry, I---" Xander grabbed Buffy's face again, and before lip contact was made, she dropped the box on his foot.  
  
As he hopped around on one foot, Anya grabbed him and demanded, "What is going on?"  
  
"I--- I don't know. I feel this irresistable urge to---" Buffy moved into his visual range, and he puckered up and lunged at her. Anya had a firm grasp and he didn't make it.   
  
"Calm down, Fish Face," Buffy said to him. To Anya, who had a murder-first-ask-questions-while-cleaning-blood-out-of-clothing-later look, she said: "It's gotta be some kind of spell."  
  
Everyone turned to look at Willow.  
  
"Hey! Why are you all looking at me?"  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
"Yes, well, in either translation, 'Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus' was probably not the best thing to say around that combination of spirits." Giles leaned forward in his easy chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose, then spoke into the phone again. "Fortunatley, it is easily correctable."  
  
"Okay, so how do I fix it?" Willow asked.   
  
In the background, there was a kind of sucking sound, then the sound of a fist hitting flesh, followed soon after by a *crashboomtinkle!* of Giles' merchandise being destroyed. "Anya!" Buffy's hollered plaint came clearly over the phone line. "Get a leash on your boyfriend!"  
  
"Well, ah, you'd better put Buffy on the phone."  
--------------------------------------  
"What!!" Buffy screeched.  
  
"What?" the other three asked curiously. Xander started to go after Buffy again, but Anya grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down. "Knock it off, Fish Face," she said.   
  
"God, Giles, are you sure... So there's no other way. Yes, he's my friend, but--- Okay." She hung up and turned to the assembly.  
  
"What did Giles say?" Willow asked, wringing her hands.  
  
Buffy got a steely look in her eyes, marched over to the doomed man, sat down in his lap, and kissed him, fully and passionatley.   
  
This continued for three minutes until Anya finally butted in. "What are you doing?"  
  
Buffy came up for air. "Listen, Giles said this is how to cure him, and if I was a good friend, I'd do it for as long as it took to cure him!"  
  
Anya considered this for a minute. "Okay, carry on."  
-----------------  
The End.  



	2. Friday Night Is For Lovers

Title: Friday Night is for Lovers  
  
Author: Spiffy Da WonderSheep  
  
Disclaimer: Federal penalties if this tag is removed... oh, wait, you know what I mean...   
  
Author's Note: Another challenge fic, "Must have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue in it, but will NOT be about a wedding or engagement." Not my best work, but heck, better'n nuthin.   
  
-----------------  
  
Tara and Willow were at the Bronze. For there is nothing else to do in Sunnydale on a Friday night. "I'm going to go get a drink of water," Tara told her, and slipped off into the crowd.  
  
Of course, at this moment, a mopey young man sat down on the couch next to Willow and sighed hugely. "Hi," he said, by way of introduction. "My name's Nathan and I'm terribly depressed."  
  
"Oh, well, um, I'm sorry?" Willow said, edging away from him subtly but surely.  
  
"My girlfriend just broke up with me, and we were supposed to go to this concert tonight, with my parents. And now she's gone and I have no one to take with me---"  
  
Willow's growing panic at being cornered by this young man crechendoed when hands were placed over her eyes. A voice she recognized better than her own said, "Guess who?"  
  
Willow turned around, reached up, grabbed Xander's face, and kissed him on the mouth. "Hi honey," she chirruped.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Xander queried.  
  
"What the hell was that!" Anya demanded, from her spot behind Xander.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Tara asked, standing behind Anya with two bottles of water.  
  
"Yeah, what the hell was that?" Oz said.   
  
"Oz! Hi! When did you.. Um, Tara... Anya, I didn't mean... Oh Goddess, at least Nathan's gone."  
------------------  
The End  
  
Something Old: Oz  
Something New: Tara  
Something Borrowed: Xander  
Something Blue: Nathan  
Hell, I thought it was clever.  
SWS  



	3. Another Saturday Night

Title: Another Saturday Night  
  
Author: Spiffy Da WonderSheep  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it, never have, never will, I'm not making any money off of this either, although I sure wish I was!  
  
Author's Note: Challenge was:   
300 words or less  
Tunafish sandwich gone bad  
Spike arguing with Xander over music  
a mention of Riley  
And work Jeff (my friend and BC&S resident fic challenger) into the story.  
  
- - -   
  
"No," Spike said. "No bleedin' way. If you are going to be listening to the greatest hits from the 50s, you'd better untie me."   
  
"If you're going to keep putting down the musical genius that is Cat Stevens, I am going to gag you," Xander said as he folded up the sofa bed. "Besides, I need this music. It helps motivate me."  
  
"Ah. So next time there's a funky smell for weeks and weeks, all I have to do is put on this caterwalling, and you'll start searching for it."   
  
Xander advanced on Spike, waving a dirty sock. "If you don't shut it, I'm going to shut it for you."  
  
"Git that thing away from me you bloody wanker!"  
  
Xander turned around and threw the sock over his shoulder. It landed in Spike's lap, and he tried his darndest to flinch it out of his lap. Xander said converationally, "Y'know, I could always call Riley and let him know that his missing Hostile is sitting here."  
  
"Oh, shut up! You win, all right?"  
  
Xander lifted a shirt and jumped back in revulsion. "I think we have a winner," Xander said, using the shirt to protect his hand as he lifted a plate with something fuzzy on it.   
  
"What is it? Or was it?"  
  
"Well, I think... yep. Bread. Must have been that tuna fish sandwich that went missing last month."  
  
Spike's eyes turned heavenward. "Jeff, you can kill me now!"  
  
Xander looked very confused. "Who is Jeff?"  
  
"That's what I call the Big Guys. You know, the Powers that Be."  
  
"Why Jeff?"  
  
"Why not?"  



	4. It Could Be

Title: It Could Be  
  
Author: Spiffy Da WonderSheep  
  
Challenge: Could You Vague That Up For Me? take:  
Any two BtVS/A:tS characters (only two)  
At least three of the following elements:  
Candles  
Roses  
A jacuzzi  
Champagne  
The tango  
A diamond necklace  
A wedding veil  
The challenge is, don't tell us at any point in the story which two characters you're writing about. The fun is in the guessing, so be misleading if you can, but don't lie. (i.e., describing Tara as a vampire)   
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
They could have blamed it on too much champagne. Or the general romantic nature of a clear, starry, late September evening in California, with the heavy scent of roses sharing the airspace with the songs of crickets and the frogs, expressing their little hearts out at the glory of it all. They could have blamed it on the joy of life, of living, or they could have blamed it on the a celebration of a life no longer with them.   
  
But, as always, they had to blame it on the tango.  
  
When the classic rythyms danced across the airwaves, nothing mattered any longer. All thoughts of past wrongs, current loves, and future consequences were lost as the world fell away. The only thing that mattered to them was each other, and the dance.  
----  
  
Author's Note: I'm not telling which characters I used! Nope nope nope! Tee hee hee. 


End file.
